ALWAYS WITH ME

“ALWAYS WITH ME”

Śrī Śrīla Gour Govinda Swāmī A Darśana on 4th April ’92 Bhubaneswar

Transcribed: Mahāśakti Dāsī

(indistinct beginning) Those two paṇḍitas, paṇḍitas are there, they came, they came to that shop to purchase some earthenware for cooking. So, then they are talking. Then this [?] student of Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura, he’s great, very proficient [?] scholar, you understand, knows philosophy very well. The paṇḍitas were speaking in Sanskrit. And he spoke in Sanskrit. So there was argument on philosophy, you understand? When [?] were amazed, “Oh, shopkeeper of this place is so learned. He knows such philosophy, defeated us.”

Similarly, the other devotee who was serving between us also, he defeated and [?]. Then [?] said, “Oh, such place where the shopkeepers, this is place of Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura, the shopkeepers are such paṇḍitas, great paṇḍitas, more scholarly than us. More learned, more proficient and so expert in presenting philosophy. How, what shall we speak about Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura. Let us go!”

They left that place. They couldn’t come to the face of Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura, you see. This is what. The students glorify the teacher. Yes. Now I am tutoring my students. You prepare yourselves so you defeat them. Why shall I go there? (Gurudeva laughs).

Nimāi Paṇḍit Dāsa: We all feel a lot safer if you went Guru Mahārāja, and we just listened. Gurudeva: (Laughs) Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura did like that. Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura was such very dear devotee of Mahāprabhu. Mahāprabhu, you understand? Lokanātha Gosvāmī. He was a disciple of Lokanātha Gosvāmī, Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura. Mahāprabhu told Lokanātha Gosvāmī, “I’ll be your disciple.”

“What? You’ll be my disciple? I won’t accept disciple. I’ll be my disciple.” You understand? “I won’t accept disciple. I’ll be my disciple.” So he was not accepting disciples. You understand. Mahāprabhu disappeared. Mahāprabhu’s staying is only 48 years, you see. Twenty-four years He’s [?] lila, twenty-four years His sannyāsa-lila, that’s 48 years He disappeared. And He had taken that vow, I’ll never accept any disciples.

So Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura came to Lokanātha Gosvāmī to accept him as [?] and surrender to him, take shelter at his lotus feet. So Lokanātha Gosvāmī didn’t allow him to enter into that compound, you understand, that Lokanātha Gosvāmī was staying in the cottage, you understand? Didn’t allow.

“Hey, get out! Get out! Get out! Who are you? Why have you come?” “I have come to you Mahārāja, to take shelter.”

“No, no, no! Get out! Get out! I’m not accepting disciples. Get out here, get out!”

So heavy, angry. Didn’t allow him. Two days, three days, four days, seven days came, just begged, cried. “No! Get out here, get out, get out. Not accepting disciples, not accepting. No, no. Don’t enter.”

Then Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura thought of, what shall I do? How can I serve him? Unless I serve him, unless I please him, how can he accept me? Do you understand? Paripraśnena sevayā, tad viddhi praṇipātena paripraśnena sevayā. That is the process. Sevā, that’s your first service. You should render service, please the Vaiṣṇava, serve the guru. If he’s pleased then you’ll get his mercy. Otherwise, if he’s not allowing me to enter into the compound, how can I serve him? So how can I please him, how can I take shelter? What shall I do? Became, he became so morose, so distressed. “What shall I do?”

So he stayed nearby and he noticed that Lokanātha Gosvāmī every day was going to pass stool to a certain place under a tree. Do you understand? Under a tree, early in the morning, say between 4-5 am in the morning. Just going to pass stool regularly, at a particular place. He noticed it. Then he thought, “I’ll take up this service. I’ll clean his stool and smear cow dung and make this place very nice.” You understand?

So as soon as he goes to pass stool and he comes back to his cottage, then Lokanātha Gosvāmī goes there, cleanses his stool, smears cow dung and makes the place very neat and clean. Nice. So two days, three days, four days, five days he noticed. “Who is doing this? Cleaning the stool, smearing cow dung, keeping the place so nice, who is doing this thing? Somebody may be doing. Who is he?” He thought of. So one day after passing stool he didn’t come back to the cottage.

Somehow he hid himself, you understand, behind some tree or something. So Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura came, cleansed the stool, smeared cow dung. [?] “Who are you? What are you doing?” He said, “I am that Narottama. I approached you but you were so heavy, didn’t allow me to enter into your compound, didn’t allow me to serve you. What shall I do? I am doing this service. I am a servant. I have come to take shelter at your lotus feet. Unless I serve you, unless I please you, how can I get your mercy? So I am doing this service.” Then he became so pleased. “Oh, you are doing this service?” Then he accepted, “Alright, alright… come, come.”

Then Lokanātha Gosvāmī accepted him, Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura. And Mahāprabhu has said, “I’ll become your disciple. In the form of Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura He became disciple. You understand? Lokanātha Gosvāmī was not accepting . . .(Aside: Gurudeva speaks in Oriya to someone). . . such strange way you see, how Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura got the mercy of Lokanātha Gosvāmī, you see. And how Mahāprabhu said, “I will become your disciple.” How He became? You see?

You cannot understand. Oh, he’s Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura. How is it that Mahāprabhu became his disciple? How can you understand this thing? You can’t understand, you can’t understand with your material mind. You cannot conceive, ‘Oh, what is this?’ He always said, this soul, (the soul is the main point), this soul is acyutānanda, this soul is [?]. How is it? Like this, like this. (Gurudeva is laughing). This body is made for this body, Janeśvara’s body, Gokuldāsa’s body. Like this, like this.

How can you understand how a person is utilized? That is what. This is philosophy, how guru, how guru manifests, cakhu dān dilo jei janme janme prabhu sei. Therefore we say, who has opened my eye, who has given me prema bhakti at the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa. He is my master life after life. Why not in this life? ‘Oh, he’s no longer present. He’s just left, he’s not there.’ Then how he is there you cannot understand. This is the process. This is how he is present. He’s present in. what form he is present, that you cannot understand. All you know vapu vani. This is physically present, physically not present. He has passed away.

He is present in his vani. But also he is physically present. Yes, how and in what form you cannot understand. That is what. Therefore say, I am eternally his disciple, he’s eternally my spiritual master. He’s eternal, yes. I am always his disciple, eternally his disciple. He is always eternally my guru. That’s alright. And he’s always teaching me, imparting this knowledge, taking care of me.

Yes, inflicting discipline on me because of disciple. Yes, he’s doing everything. Yes. Without vision you cannot see how he is there, how he is doing, how he is acting. Yes. No vision. I cannot see. No more, no more. He’s not… my guru is not there, not physically present now. Now I AM GURU! I am guru. There is no guru on me. This is when pride comes all, all falls down, finished. I can do whatever I like. There is nobody there to inflict discipline on me now. I am now guru. My guru’s gone.

Materialistic thoughts, materialistic conceptions. This is the reason one falls down, develops pride and he falls down. That is what… such a fool, he cannot understand how his guru is there and eternally, he’s eternally there and you are his eternal disciple, and he’s your eternal master, spiritual master. You are always disciple. Always you are disciple. He’s always… Lokanātha says [?] sadā śiṣya tāki, Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura says, all ācāryas say, sadā śiṣya tāki, I’ll always remain his śiṣyas, disciple of my guru. I am always his disciple. Yes.

Then you are always in the care of your guru. He’s always with you and taking care of you. So, can’t understand this thing so you commit aparādha, offense. You understand? And instead of giving please to your guru you are giving him pain, yes, you are giving him pain. So how can you get his blessings, get his mercy if you give him pain, eh? eh? Therefore should understand.

Therefore says, cakhu dān dilo jei janme janme prabhu sei, yes, he’s always there with me. He’s taking care of me. He’s taken up that responsibility and it is reciprocal. It is not one sided. As guru, he has his responsibility, then as disciple you have your responsibility also. You should not forget this thing, that you have no responsibility. As we speak of sad-guru, similarly sat-śiṣya.

Bonafide guru and bonafide disciple. Yes. Guru should be bonafide, disciple should be also bonafide. Otherwise how will it be, how will the relationship will be kept up? No, no. Do you follow me? Yes. So it is said, as it is very difficult to get a sad-guru, bonafide guru, similarly also it is very difficult to get a sat-śiṣya, a bonafide disciple. Yes. That’s a fact.

Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Gosvāmī Prabhupāda Mahārāja, such powerful Vaiṣṇava, very powerful Vaiṣṇava do you understand, he was very strict brahmacārī, ājanma, from very birth he was brahmacārī, naiṣṭhika brahmacārī, ājanma brahmacārī; very powerful. He said just prior to his disappearance from this planet, he called all his disciples; he called all his disciples. His disciples came, assembled together. All sat and he gave his last instruction advice. At that time he said, ‘None of you are my disciple.’ Why he said like that?

Because not bonafide disciples. You understand? You may be so called disciples, may be pretending as disciples, posing as disciples but none of you are my disciple. That means you are not following me, following my instructions as it is. That is the purpose we say. I say something, you do something and you add some of your deliberation to it, twist it. Like this, like this. As these Christians do. Yes, Jesus Christ said Though Shall Not Kill, though shall not kill human being. Others should be killed. There is no soul in them. Did Jesus Christ say so?

But you add your deliberation to it. No true Christian, similarly no true disciple. Not bonafide. Therefore he said like that. If I would have prepared or made one disciple pure, do you follow me, then I’d think that my guruship is successful, then I have achieved success in my guruship, guru business, do you understand, guru profession, do you follow? At last he said like that. Yes. Then how he had prepared one disciple. That is my revered spiritual master, A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda.

He was gṛhastha, he was staying his home you see. Not staying in Maṭha, not staying, not [?] but how Bhaktisiddhānta was preparing, only he kept up his glory, prestige. He fulfilled the desire of Mahāprabhu, fulfilled the desire of his guru [?] Mahārāja, fulfilled the desire of Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura there also, do you understand. The day will come, a son will be born, will do this thing. Throughout the world he will preach pṛthivīte ache yata nagarādi grāma, sarvatra pracāra haibe mora nāma.

Mahāprabhu’s prophecy. All corners, all cities, My name will be preached, propagated. Who did it? Who did it? It was Bhaktivedanta Swami, you understand. And Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura has said that thing, and Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī he produced such a disciple of son, was so empowered, who has gotten full mercy of Guru and Gaurāṅga. Who could do this thing? Therefore Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Prabhupāda said, if I would have prepared one, produced one disciple, pure, śuddha bhakta, pure devotee then I’ll would think that my guruship, I’ll achieved success in my [?]. I’ll come out successful. He said that thing.

Gokuldāsa Dāsa: Gurudeva, Bhaktisiddhānta also had disciples like Bhakticaraṇa Mahārāja, Śrī Niketana Mahārāja, you’ve said that they are also on that topmost platform, you’ve also said….. Gurudeva: Oh, yes, Bhaktisiddhānta has many sannyāsī śiṣyas, many śiṣyas.

Gokuldāsa Dāsa: Does that mean that someone like Śrīniketana Mahārāja, is he sādhana siddha or nitya-siddha?

Gurudeva: Why do you want to judge him? Give up that mentality. Don’t judge it. You see, there is siddha, that’s alright, siddha, bas. Don’t try to judge him. You have such elevated personality? They are our gurus. Yes, they are gurus, they are our gurus. Why shall we think of all these things? We should not think of these things? No such thought. Don’t allow such thought. Do you follow me? Different individual differs you see. How do you say that all are the same? No, all are not the same.

Different temperament, different mentality, different standards, different spheres are there. Yes. As for example we say one is a scientist, you understand, and one who’s a scholar, one who’s an astrologer, one is this or that or that. So many spheres are there, spheres are there, platforms are there, departments are there.

One may [?] in one department, you understand. One may be a good preacher, he’s a good preacher, preaches this but one who does good bhajan, he’s bhajanānandī, he’s doing bhajan, do you understand, goṣṭhyānandī, bhajanānandīs are there, do you understand. Bhajanānandīs, they do their bhajan. They don’t come out for preaching.

Gokuldāsa: That’s according to our svarūpa?

Gurudeva: They remain, stay in a secluded place, do their bhajana, do you understand. They are bābājīs, paramahaṁsas, you understand? Like Gosvāmīs. Gosvāmīs, Rūpa Gosvāmī, Sanātana Gosvāmī, they are not preachers. Gokuldāsa: According to Kṛṣṇa’s desire for them?

Gurudeva: Yes. Some are preachers. They come out to the society, human society. They stay in the society. They travel throughout the world, parivrājanā, parivrājakācārya and preach. [?] is very strong only. He’s in that line, in that sphere. Some may be bhajanānandī, some may be goṣṭhyānandī. What he has gotten let him utilize it for Kṛṣṇa’s service, loving service to Kṛṣṇa, Guru and Gaurāṅga. That’s all right. If someone is scientist let him utilize his scientific talent, all these things in the service of guru.

Everything can be utilized. Yes. If one is a scholar let him utilize his scholarship in the service of Guru and Gaurāṅga. Yes. If one is a very good kīrtanist, does nice kīrtana, alright, let him do nice kīrtana, utilize it for service of Guru and Gaurāṅga. All are not the same. It differs, it differs, Individual is individuals are there. One should not think all are the same. Then capacities are there. All are not of the same capacity. Capacity differs. That we say also:

ākarṣananto parvo……. ya… śakti.. kori…..

Unlimited sky is there, you understand, in unlimited sky and varieties of birds are there. They are flying in the sky, varieties of birds and capacity differs. Some birds fly very very high, some birds fly little higher, you understand, some bird flies up to this high, some bird flies something more, something more, something more. Like this it differs. According to one’s capacity they fly. Similarly… do you follow me? So according to one’s capacity he does the service. You follow me?

So we should not judge; we should not judge, we are not the judges. We pay our respect to them. Yes. They are Vaiṣṇavas. They are very elevated personalities. I am not a Vaiṣṇava. All others are Vaiṣṇava but me. To think like this. Pay respect. Get their blessings. This is immediate for me, for my spiritual advancement. Do you follow? So I should always beg mercy, get their blessings. All are Vaiṣṇavas but me, but me. Just think like this. All are above me. I am the lowest of the low, tṛṇād api sunīcena.

This mentality Mahāprabhu’s teaching, thinking oneself as much humbler than a blade of grass lying on the street. Otherwise you cannot tread this path, the devotional path. You follow me? No, you cannot make any advancement at all, cannot do bhajan. No, no. [?] do Hari bhajan, real Hari bhajan. Do you follow Gokuldāsa? That should be understood. Alright thank you, Chelo.