About Siksastakam

About Siksastakam

Srila B. R. Sridhar Maharaj

Now today, I am requested to say something on the second sloka of the Siksastakam. I begin there:

namnam akari bahudha nija-sarva-shaktis
tatrarpita niyamitah smarane na kalah
etadrishi tava kripa bhagavan mamapi
durdaivam idrisham ihajani nanuragaha

This is the second sloka of Mahaprabhu. Namnam akari bahudha. That is the general reading of the sloka, but there is some modified reading also. Namnam akari bahuta, some say. Bahuta, abstract noun, that means they say that that is more grammatical. Some say namnam akari bahudha.

Bahudha is retained here.

“You have revealed here, expressed here, inaugurated here different types of names, and all your strength, all your power has been allotted therein, placed therin, though it is eternal namnam, the power is already with the name eternally, but it is said in that way, in that fashion, sarva shakti tatrarpita. That means with the name, already the potency from its beginning is there, both is eternal. Sarvva sakti, all sorts of potencies, energies. Niyamitah smarane na kalah.

And there is no time fixed for taking the name. In any time, in any stage, in any circumstance, you can take the name. Not that in the morning time, not htat after taking bath, or after going in a holy place. No, no condition. Anytime, anywhere. In any circumstances you may go on with taking the name. Such a magnanimous chance you have given, opportunity you have given to all about the nam bhajan, the service of the Name. So generous, so magnanimousis you dispensation. So much graceful you are here. Tava krpa.

Infinitely gracious you are in this nam bhajan you have given to us. durddaivam idrsam ihajani nanuragah. But still, my calamity is of the worst type that I don’t find any earnestness, any earnest desire to take the name. No such faith, no such sraddha, faith, regard, no tendency in me do I find to take the name, no love, no affection for the name do I find. I am so unfortunate, I am unfortunate of such a high type, the worst type, that I do not find any innate hankering to take the name. What is to be done? This is the second.

You have given all from your side, to take me up from this mundane relativity, you are so generous, your attempt is so generous, so magnanimous, but yet I find from my side, some cooperation of course is necessary; something from my side, to accept that, to accept Your grace, but I find a deaf ear from my heart, coming to Your call. Your magnanimous call, but from my side, what little is necessary, I can’t find that, my Lord. I am hopeless.

So, the great hope that was given by the first sloka of Mahaprabhu, that Sri Krsna Sankritan is properly undertaken, it may progress step by step in this way, the seven consequences by in a progressive way, step by step, that I told yesterday, first cleansing the consciousness, second liberation from the mundane relativity, and third, positive goodness awakens within our heart, and takes us to Vrindavan, and the fourth, that vidya vadhu jivanam, under the giudance of swarup sakti, yogamaya, not mahamaya, not our-carrying but in-carrying current, yogamaya, which is always trying to centralize help.

We come to vadhu conception, we are potency, unconditional potency to serve Krsna. That sort of rasa that fully connected full connection, what gives full connection with the Lord, then after attaining that stage, what are the other consequences that come? Anandambudhi varddhanam To become a particle in the ocean of joy, and joy is not stale or static, but evernew; and evernew dynamic thing, and it is purifyin g to the utmost.

Though we are kept, we are allowed to keep our individual conception, but still we fell that all the parts of our existence is becoming purified when we take the name. To the utmost, to the extreme. And also, not only myself, but all who are connected with this nam-sankirtan, mass conversion, mass purification, and purification to the utmost, these are the results. Now says, “Thesis – Antithesis”.

Then, when such hope is there, why so much is he under trouble? The difficulties where? Why do you not get the advantage of such a magnanimous sanction of the divinity? Where is the rub? It must be detected. Here it comes to the practical point. namnam… unestimable grace from your side, so many opportunities you have given, but the little least attained from my side, to have benefit of the… So small, so meagre, so sinful. etadrishi…nanuraga.

Bhaktivinod Thakur in his translation say beautifully, “The least requirement from my side, that I must have some liking, some taste to accept some earnestness to accept, but there is the lacking (rub) so then wher’s the hope? The next sloka comes how to attain it? Of course when we come in the relativity of we trying to take the name, however formally we are trying in some form or othere, then by what process can we get the benefit and have progress? The third sloka is coming here.

Now we may have to say something in this connection. That though one feels that he has not got the least required minimum deposit to get the grant, bu it is not a hopeless case. Why? The very nature of things takes us to that conception.

It is really when the nam bhajan, the realization of the grace of the name to pray for the grace of the name, when one begins his life in such a method, or in any form of devotion towards the infinite Lord, he cannot but feel like that. In the relativity of the infinite, he can’t find anything in him. That means he is quite emptied vacated. I have nothing to give in return.

The minimum requirement, that is also absent here. That takes him to the conception that, “I have no qualification. Completely emptied.” Rather, the opposite qualifications are felt in one’ s heart. purisera kita hoite mui se prapistha etc. We should not be discouraged that we have got no capacity, not the least merit, which is required for this nam bhajan, but rather that is the natural position of a devotee, but at the same time we must guard ourselves from our insincere conception that we are nothing.

There is the enemy. I have got not the least liking for the Lord. No taste for the Lord. Cannot have. That is all right. But that I have got some taste, some earnestness, some devotion for the Lord, that is dangerous, that I have. When we are going to have some connection with the infinite, we must be emptied, fully emptied; self-abnegation must be complete, and it is complete.

This attainment in the worldly line that is the negative side. We must withdrwas from that completely. I am nothing, no qualification, that I can be accepted or utilized in the service of the Lord. Perfectly I am unfit. Complete withdrawal of the egoistic world, and captured by the Yogamaya.

Nabadwip, 1982

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